How a girly-girl became a mom to 4 boys - Decluttering School

How a girly-girl became a mom to 4 boys

How a girly-girl became mom to 4 boys

True confession: when I was pregnant for the first time 14 years ago, I dreamed of little girls with braids in their hair and baby dolls. I imagined them playing house, baking cookies and reading Little House on the Prairie.

As a girly-girl and one of five sisters, I assumed naturally that I would have little girls. But God had other plans. The baby boys arrived, one at a time, until there were 4 of them!

At first, I wondered how I could possibly parent a boy.

I was squeamish around bugs, worms and snakes, didn’t care for sports, and was just about as ensconced in my girl-world as I could be. I knew nothing of construction vehicles or tree climbing.

You can see just how narrow my focus was at that point. As if girls never climb trees and all boys love bugs!

Boys love climbing
My boys adore climbing on anything that’s available.

So as the boys came along, we figured things out together.

And I was stretched outside my comfort zone on a daily basis. At first, it was challenging, but eventually I learned to accept my nature-loving boys’ interest in spiders, snakes and fishing.

God is still working on me, but I have come to the point where I run for the camera when one of my kids catches a snake (like last week) instead of running for the safety of the house. Since my boys are true nature-lovers, I’ve learned to appreciate all things wildlife including worms, fish and spiders.

How a girly-girl became a mom to 4 boys
Dump trucks are serious business in our house.

I can catch a football, kick a soccer ball and appreciate when my boys learn how to safely handle Airsoft guns. I love them for the strong young men they are growing to be.

When people learn I’m a mom to 4 boys, they often give me looks of pity or raise their eyebrows and say things like “You’ve sure got your hands full!”

I guess some people don’t have much patience for the noise and mess that inevitably comes with 4 boys. I admit – they are loud! But there’s no need for pity. I can honestly say there’s no regret now for me that I don’t have a little girl who calls me mom.

How a girly-girl became a mom to 4 boys
Sometimes a puddle is just the thing to practice casting (something this mom knows nothing about).

Here’s why: it’s all about relationships.

I think the thing I was most concerned about was having a connection with my kids. Without having any experience with little boys, I assumed it would be easier with daughters.

Now I realize relationships and family connections are built on love and attention, not gender. I have plenty in common with my boys. Guess what – I’ve discovered I love exploring the outdoors with them! They love baking cookies and they even let me read Little House to them as long as there’s enough hunting involved. They are a huge help around the house. We’ve built our relationships together since day one and it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I’m still not a tom-girl.

I refuse to bait a hook. I do not care for dinnertime belching contests. At times, the testosterone in my house is more than I think I can take, but I do thank God every day for my four sons. They are exactly what He planned for me and I am so grateful for them.

So to all you moms of little boys out there, if you’re wondering how you will ever raise a boy to be a man, just know that it’s about love and relationship. If you focus on those two, the rest will follow.

Are you a mom to a boy?

Were you surprised by the arrival of a son or did you always expect it would be that way? I’d love to hear about your experience.

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17 thoughts on “How a girly-girl became a mom to 4 boys”

  1. Great post. Im mama to 5 little boys under the age of 5. Loud and dirt is my life and im definitely “girly”. They are a gift. .i cant imagine it any other way:)

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  2. I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old boy and they have been a handful! But what I have learnt is that if I lead them, and be strong, then I can be peaceful and they are then relaxed too. When I realized after reading “Parenting By the Book” by John Rosemond that I can not just raise them to be men, but be gentlemen, my heart soared. He said that his mother taught him to open doors for ladies by seven and he was helping her with cleaning the floors by three. All of a sudden it all made sense; I could help the world be a better place by teaching my boys to be polite, kind and generous men. I am now finding fulfilment in every day with them and am so happy.

    Reply
    • I love John Rosemond’s books! I only recently discovered him and I wish I had known about him 12 years ago. He gives excellent advice, doesn’t he?

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  3. Thank you for this! I have three little boys and I just found out I am expecting. I don’t know the gender yet, but feel so discouraged telling people I’m pregnant and hearing nothing but:
    “Oh, I really hope it’s a girl for you!”
    “You need a little girl! I’ll pray for you!”
    “I’m sure this one is the girl you need!”
    “Are you hoping this is finally your girl?”
    I feel all my optimism and positive outlook go right out the window. Why can’t I hope for a healthy baby? Why can’t my needs by whatever my God has in mind for me? Why do you have to jade my experience???
    Reading articles like this remind me that it’s a special calling in life to be a Mom of Boys. And you are right, it’s about the relationships we build with our sons, not their gender that will determine or closeness. So, while I’ve never willingly watched a soccer game up until 6 years ago, I will be at every game, screaming like a mad woman for my sweet little boys.
    Mom’s of Boys….UNITE! 🙂

    Reply
    • Good for you! I never understood why people would make comments like that. The baby’s sex is already decided and comments like that are just not helpful for anyone, especially not mom and even more so for the poor boys who hear them.

      Enjoy your pregnancy and your new little one!

      Blessings,
      Sarah

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    • I am a mom of 3 boys and recently found out I am expecting our 4th and we are so happy about it. Did o think I would one day have a girl? Yes of course I did but God had other plans for me and that is fine. When we 1st announced we were expecting everyone had the same reaction “praying it’s a girl”, “this one definitely is a girl” or “omg God bless you for trying for a girl”. 1st of all none of my pregnancies happened because we were trying for a girl and second all I asked for was for a healthy baby (which is what we are getting). When people always had the “I hope it’s a girl comment” I always said “I’m positive it’s a a boy”. I’m so happy to see/hear about so many families of 4 boys. We were chosen to raise future leaders or our country and strong, caring family men. I am looking forward to this journey and raising y 3 (soon to be 4) little men 🙂

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  4. I cannot thank you enough for writing this post! I too am a mother to 4 amazing boys, but today had been one of those difficult, trying days. We do not live near family and it gets hard sometimes without help. My boys were being, well boys, but wildly running about and wrestling each other indoors. Inevitably, my patience hit the roof after several times of telling them to stop and then I literally had to give myself a time out in my own closet. Lol. Like you, I also had only sisters growing up so this experience of raising boys never ceases to surprise me. To be completely honest I was nearing my wits end and actually googled, “help I’m raising 4 boys” in the hopes that maybe someone had written some great self help book filled with wisdom for mothers of boys, and then your wonderful blog popped up! As I read your post I couldn’t help but feel grateful in knowing that I am not alone in this journey! Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding me that God will never give me more than I can handle, and also for helping me understand that one bad day doesn’t mean that I’m a bad mom. Your words truly lifted me up and I had to thank you! 🙂

    Reply
    • Oh, how glad I am that my words encouraged you! I’ve googled things like that before, too lol. You know what moms of boys need most? A break! Make that frequent breaks. I didn’t take nearly enough breaks when my kids were younger and we all suffered for it. So hopefully you’ll get some time to yourself soon.

      Blessings to you!

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    • Sharing a similar experience today. Hiding out in the bathroom now while my three boys are downstairs! Daily prayers for peace and patience! Reminding myself to be greatdul for each day with them…They are such a blessing when i shift my focus.

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  5. I am a mama to 3 little boys, and soon due with our 4th! My oldest is 4, and yes, it is a wild ride with these little men, but I do love it. With this pregnancy my husband and I warded off the unwanted i hope it’s a girl” comments by saying early on (way before we found out that indeed, we will be a family of 4 boys) by saying “Oh, we are sure it’s a boy! We only make boys :)” Usually got people to laugh. I love raising boys and I love that our sons are already such good friends.

    It seems that in our circle, at least, God is blessing a lot of families with multiple little men to raise. Many of the families in our church have 3 or more boys, with a recent string of 5 of us being pregnant with our 4th! While talking with one of these mamas, we asked why we thought God was filling our community and our church with so many boys. The answer we arrived at is a bit sobering as a mom. But we concluded that as the moral climate of our nation continues to decline, it is becoming increasingly important to have a generation of men who will stand for truth and point others to the grace of the Gospel. What a big task we have been given in raising these boys to be men with a foundation in the Word, a moral compass pointed to godliness, and the strength to be able to stand up to a culture that screams at them to follow their own desires, not God’s. It is humbling, and definitely increases our prayers! (Of course, if God had blessed us with 4 girls instead of 4 boys, I am sure I would think that God is raising up a generation of woman who will direct the hearts of their own children to godliness. . . they are both so needed!)

    Thank you for your blogs and the tips in them, especially the encouragements to stay organized (not my strong point at any stage of life, but especially now). Knowing it comes from a mama who lives the chaos and wonder of raising 4 boys gives it an extra weight of “street cred”, if you will, and gives me hope 🙂

    Reply
    • Thank you so much! I really enjoyed your comment. You certainly are a busy mama with soon to be 4 little men under 5!

      Be well and God bless you!

      Reply
  6. Thank you for this post! I just found out that baby #4 is another boy. I’ll admit I’m still in a little bit of denial. I had so many of those, “we’re praying for a girl” comments. It makes me dread telling people we are having another boy….especially as I am dealing with my own disappointment- though I love my three boys and love the little one on the way. I am more facing the loss of the ‘possibility’ of having a girl.

    BUT your post helped me see the blessing of having a house full of boys. I love my boys fiercely and can’t wait to meet this little one.

    Now, just to find a fourth boy name that my husband and I can agree on! 🙂

    Reply

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Welcome. I’m Sarah!

 
Sarah

I’m the creator of Decluttering School (formerly known as Early Bird Mom), lover of organized spaces, encourager to women and mom to four boys. Click here to read more!

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